I am making an adult, are you? if you have a child from ages 13 onwards then yes you are.
I think sometimes with the whirl winded of work, schooling, sports, partners, hobbies we forget that these little people that are not babies or toddles anymore and not even kids anymore are going to be the next adults in our community.
We work so hard to keep them healthy when their babies, to bring them up right with manners and strong beliefs. We get them ready for school then we keep them in school. Its all one big long event isn't it.
So we could be forgiven if we take a breath and sit down for a while when they start doing things for themselves . When they start knowing what they want and are ready to go get it.
Yer sure we still make sure they have manners and good belief system but really we become the nagging voice in the background don't we mum & dad?
I was recently reminded about the different kinds of parents out there. Parents of teenagers I mean especially. You have the very relaxed, the very strict, the My kid woldnt do that ones, the ones who act more like teenagers then the children do & many more types I'm sure. I am the first one to hold my hand up and say I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm not saying I have it worked out. I like many parents has said those words " they have changed. their just not like they use to be i'm worried"
I only recently released what MY problem was.
Of course my teenager has changed. She is not a kid anymore but becoming an adult. How can I expect her to be the same.
She is not the same as she was when she was in kindy. She is not the same as when she was in year 5.
Why do we as parent start worrying when our teenagers change, instead just see it for what it is.
Most of the generally parenting problems you will have with teenagers all comes from a basic human response to their age - growing from child to adult - but being stuck in the middle of that change.
They want to push boundaries, they want to jump before looking because all they can think about is the place they want to land....
I am going to make one thing clear; some teenagers need help, the signs are very different and I mean not to say that your teenager is 'just fine' because if you think they need help go get it for them.
I want to type this blog from a place of an average family with no abuse, hardship, bullying , self esteem issues beyond the normal. ok. AND even that does not guarantee a teenager will not need professional help.
So anyway my point is that remember we are making adults, these teenagers that drive us nuts are going to be workers, parents, drivers, carers, club members even may be in a high place of responsibility one day.
I really didn't grow up until I was in my 20s so I know its a long journey and I don't expect my 14 year old to work every afternoon and go to school ,cook, clean and watch her brother every day like a grown up.
I understand she needs to have fun, relax and socialise because this is also the way she forms who she is but we as parents have to be there to hold up the boundaries because they can't. That part of their brain has not formed yet.
You can not let a young teenager online in this world free to rom the world wide web without limits.
You can not have them wonder around the street to do what ever they feel like doing .
There has to be a balance. Let them be who they think they want to be But also be there to rein them in when it looks like they need it :)