Horses of course

So what's on the list for this week? Horses of course
 
Rex meet his first horse😊 after a shy first reaction & a lot of cuddles from me he was sniffing a big hairy nose
After a few pats I let him down on the ground and the horse just didn't seem to care but yet wanted to jump around barking to try and make the horse play with him. 
Thanks to the ladies at Riding with the Disabled who kindly let their two horses come have a pat & meet Rex . 

  

Lot of weight on little furry shoulders

Do you know the different types of Service dogs aka Assistance dogs we have in Australia?
Well we do now. As a family with a young child with autism we have decided after many months of research, talking, meetings, learning and more talking to get an Assistance Dog for our son.

This means many choices were to be made. Like if we where going to pay the $30,000 to pay a 'ready made Assistance Dog' which is bred, trained and then with the organizations help induced to our family & our son.
or
Buy a dog of any age and train it at home with us. With the help of trainers, courses and classes as many or as little as we wanted.
We chose the 2nd , as we wanted a young dog not a dog from a recuse that we could not be sure about its past and any triggers or bad habits it may have which may harm our child or other animals in our home.
So here we are a week away from picking up our English Pointer pup .

As my research has taught me, its a hard long journey but with many rewards.
It costs a lot of money & time to owner train as they call it.
I understand now when people with disability's get so upset or offended when something happens or is said to degrade the importance of an Assistance Dog.

There Assistance dogs, Service dogs, Guide dogs, Hearing /vision dogs ALL are equal in the eyes of Australian Law. Even a dog in train to become any of the above has the same rights.

It is illegal to discriminate against or refuse entry to a person with an Assistance Dog and anyone who does so can be prosecuted. Any entry fee must not be charged to an animal that is an assistance animal.

This is our little boy and wow dose he have a big future ahead of him . k 

Book Week

How did everyone's BOOK WEEK go?
Here is my son who done better then last year dressed as a pirate. Its a different kind of emotional parent roller-coaster isn't it?
Will they want to dress up? Will they change their minds? or try to fight past the anxiety & overloaded sensory disorder because of peer expectations? Will the clothes feel comfortable or will the tags feel like razers on their skin?
As I said my son did well & even though we had to stand out of the play ground until the bell rang ( the play ground was too noisy full of excited kids ) he enjoyed himself he said later that day before the meltdown of screaming, crying, shaking and wanting all the noises in the world to STOP hurting him, happened that night .
But he was my little Pirate and he was part of his school Book Week that's what makes us smile :) k

Taking a breather

Here is my son feeding duck on the side of a river .
We had such a nice time just sitting, well I sat with a coffee and he run, jumped, walked, hopped, sat then ran again .
We had his big sister with us and it was a nice day out.
We took the short drive ( with his ipad for company in the back seat of course) to a small county town where the bird show was on.
Even though I prepared him for all the noise & people, holding his hand and having ear muffs on he was overloaded by about 20mins.
Which I think is good, he did so well and I told him so.
After that we went to a café & got take away then found this lovely park along a river.
Its here sitting watching him that I realised how much we all needed this today .
I have started my own business and have jumped into being a working mum of around 22 hours a week most being early mornings where I don't see my son until he gets home from school when his dad picks him up for us.
Its been a lot to handle for all of us but we are doing well .
                           I Just need to remember to make more days for in the park  :) k

Assistance Dogs for ASD kids

Do you have an AD? that's short for Assistance Dog better know in America as Service Dogs.

Assistance Dogs can perform a range of tasks for people living with disabilities, an Assistance Dog is not only man’s best friend but a lifeline for many people & their families.
Every Assistance Dog undergoes tailored training to meet the individual needs of their new owner. They support people living with physical disabilities, autism, post-traumatic stress and dementia, as well as schools and care facilities.
I have been learning so much about this since becoming friends online with a lady who is self-training a dog to become her sons AD.
Its such a long & sometime hard journey when self-training, with help Providers & trainers a dog can grow up or be adopted into a family for the purpose of becoming an Assistance Dog for one of the family members.
In this ladies case she is training the dog for her son who is age 10. He helps and learns as they go so he will know more about this dog who will become his best friend then anyone else in the world.
I see photos and update on facebook about them and it seems so wonderful.

So I found myself asking why an Assistance Dog?
What would we need one for?   How would my son's life better from having an AD and not just a well trained family pet? I came to the conclusion that it would have a place in this family, an AD wold improve my sons life very much so and in turn improve our whole family.
This is Sandy she is our 10 yr old Dane with our son.
Never really trained more then sit, heal this dog in her old age she has became the perfect calm company our son has responded too. Sandy is the reason we came to the final decision of an AD as we could see the prospects ( yes she was watched as to not eat the sand which she wouldn't do anyway) 
Everywhere I look I can see how an assistance dog could be there, working and supporting our son.
As a family we put in applications & paperwork to try and get support & sponsors for help with the big journey of training a dog and you know what? Every time I have to fill out a piece of paper or online form about the reasons why we wanted to do this it was so easy, so easy to have the reasons just flow out and that has to mean something doesn't it? I think so :)
So we wait for the red tape to be sorted but please stay tuned for updates

Sandy dog helping play 

Home sick

 So do you have a 'home town' ?

Is it different to your children's hometown ?

Some of us may still be living in the town we grew up in or have moved away during our younger years when we wanted to see the world, work & travel but had this weird nack of ending up back in our home town.

Me & my friends when we where in our 20s use to have the joke that " They always end up back, its like a black hole that sucks you back in lol" of course we loved our town Goulburn but to us we had this feeling of never getting out, never going anywhere else like all the famous people seem to do.

So we made jokes and nicknames stating we hated our town, but we really knew we felt at home, at peace there and that's why we hadn't left yet.

A lot of us did leave, had families and careers. Some came back some didn't.

I'm one who didn't. My best friend is one that stayed. I'd like to thank her for these lovely photos too  

That connection I still have with my town has this warm spot in my heart. I still get homesick sometimes, Like a kid away at school camp. 

When I see news about good changes happening in Goulburn I think wow that would be good for the kids as compared to our small and unchanging country town we live in now. And I see some not so good events like floods happening and I feel the townspeople's pain. 

See this Goulburn is my home town but my children don't remember it. 

They didn't grow up running around the park or going to the movies with friends 

The town we are in now and have been for years is their home town. Its not the same as mine and that makes me a bit sad. But to them they couldn't think of living anywhere else, well not yet anyway. 

I wonder will they joke about this town? Will they move away and come back? So talk about your home town and make sure your children know and feel the specialness of a Hometown.          :) k

It's been a long week

After a long week with sports days, horse riding kindly provided by Riding Disabled, class  exscrison , an award at assembly and a  switch around of teachers I can tell you it wasn't easy. Parents of kids on the spectrum will understand how full on walk on egg shells my week has been. My little man had done well.
A couple of hours spent in the local gardens feeding ducks was just what he needed, no playing kids or footy games just older people walking around minding their own business 😊
Quiet time is a must in our sons life, he may think he doesn't need it or want it instead saying he wants to play the Xbox more but it's my job to care for my children ,to work out what they need and then work out how to provide it to them.
Then they will change and we have to do it all I really again just to keep us parents on our toes.

The good old trick of telling him I need to take photos of the trees for my collect is a Classic excuse to come here to the garden.
Where he has ran, walked, rolled and sat . The old dog is trying to keep up and I'm sipping my coffee. So I hope you find a way of getting out & enjoying some quiet this weekend x

I'll leave you the last piece of cake

Do you ever wonder if your partner knows about all the little things you do for them?
And yelling them out in the middle of a fight that strayed over his mother coming for dinner unannounced does not count .
As a mother I am very practiced at putting another human being first, it's something that comes over us when we first hold our new born babies .
We will always give them the best foood, drink, clothing we can and we will always give them the last clean towel or drink of juice. That's just the way motherhood is but is some form or another a wife is like this too.
We do things for our husband, we care for them too. And in some fairytale marriages we see looking for the outside in seem to work well as both partners care and serve the other .
Sometimes it's a bit more one sided .
Once I had this blog idea come to me I just couldn't stop seeing all the things I do for my husband.
Now I'm not saying I hate doing them, truth be told i kind of like caring for him sometimes but I now see how one sided it has become.
Do you leave the last can of drink in the fridge for him? Or maybe leave him the last couple of tomatos knowing he likes tomato sandwiches? I do.
When I have a shower and see there is the big fluffy towel and a smaller old one only left I leave the bigger fluffy one for him.
And when his been on the computer all night & has left the lid off his favourite drink bottle I close it.
If I am in the shops getting myself something for work lunch I make sure I look for something yummy to bring home to him too.
And of course the classic clothes on the floor situation, when even know he put that shirt on the floor he will want to wear it tomorrow so I the cleaning fairy comes along to wash , dry and fold it for him.
That cleaning fairy does all his clothes, dishes and house cleaning you know 😜
When planning what to cook for dinners all week at least half are foods he likes
And
Yes I leave him the last piece of cake too.
It's when this started spinning around in my head that i think it can get dangerous.
How do I feel about all that I do for him? And the question that comes to my mind after that is What does he do for me? The answers to these two questions can be happiness or sadness .

          Thanks for reading and I hope it finds you well. K

Camping fun

Camping we will go

So as a mum of two in her 30s I decided to jump into the world of camping.

Yep I asked online and done some reading but unless you had money to buy everything at once I was left with a 2nd hand tent & Kmart blow up mattresses .

Some people said to me online that all you need is to just relax and go with it some said plan everything & ask others for help. 

Well I relaxed and I planned  ..... it still didn't go to plan. 

I was the only one who stayed to sleep both nights.

My husband wasn't Intersted from the start so I took the bull by the horns so to speak and marched off on my own with two kids . 

Well we got there and realised I had forgotten the tent poles and pegs - husband to the rescue. 

Then we couldn't remember how to put up our 2nd hand tent we had only used once before so by the time it was dark we had got the tent up in time for me to collapse in it.

Then the teenager wanted to leave with her father because there was no internet & she missed her boyfriend. I was over her sulking by this time & let her drive away with her father to go home to a internet connection. The next night my son wasn't feel well with a cold so dad to recues again came & picked him up. The teenager stayed with me instead (I'm guessing after having a talking to by her father)

So two night camping with the kids ended up differently then the picture perfect tv add looking holiday I seen in my head last week.

This left me felling like I had fail. My ideal camping holiday was a half made tent with little food and a blow up mattress I had to blow up twice 

But my 7 year old surprisingly loved the idea. His sensory processing disorder was at peace here . He wondered around the camp site in the morning when it was just me & him, just taking in the peaceful bush. 

I was calm as I didn't have to worry about what people where thinking of me and my autistic son, why was he making those noises or why did he want to keep hitting that tree with that stick....

 We could just BE. I read some of a book for the first time in over a year .

The book by Constance Hall and one part spoke to me on page fifty ~ 

'Queens don't fail at anything,they learn lessons and they change their minds'

I realised I had been looking at this wrong . I havnt failed camping .

I had found out how to better do it next time. I had given my son some space and I in return  got some also.

I had learn we need to check everything before living and to buy a bigger esky and pack more food the list goes on .....
So yes I went camping.
I will do it again
and I may also change my mind :) 

Are you making an adult?

I am making an adult, are you? if you have a child from ages 13 onwards then yes you are.

I think sometimes with the whirl winded of work, schooling, sports, partners, hobbies we forget that these little people that are not babies or toddles anymore and not even kids anymore are going to be the next adults in our community.
We work so hard to keep them healthy when their babies, to bring them up right with manners and strong beliefs. We get them ready for school then we keep them in school. Its all one big long event isn't it.
So we could be forgiven if we take a breath and sit down for a while when they start doing things for themselves . When they start knowing what they want and are ready to go get it.
Yer sure we still make sure they have manners and good belief system but really we become the nagging voice in the background don't we mum & dad?

I was recently reminded about the different kinds of parents out there. Parents of teenagers I mean especially. You have the very relaxed, the very strict, the My kid woldnt do that ones, the ones who act more like teenagers then the children do & many more types I'm sure. I am the first one to hold my hand up and say I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm not saying I have it worked out. I like many parents has said those words " they have changed. their just not like they use to be i'm worried"
I only recently released what MY problem was.
Of course my teenager has changed. She is not a kid anymore but becoming an adult. How can I expect her to be the same.
She is not the same as she was when she was in kindy. She is not the same as when she was in year 5.
Why do we as parent start worrying when our teenagers change, instead just see it for what it is.
Most of the generally parenting problems you will have with teenagers all comes from a basic human response to their age - growing from child to adult - but being stuck in the middle of that change.
They want to push boundaries, they want to jump before looking because all they can think about is the place they want to land.... 
I am going to make one thing clear; some teenagers need help, the signs are very different and I mean not to say that your teenager is 'just fine' because if you think they need help go get it for them.
I want to type this blog from a place of an average family with no abuse, hardship, bullying , self esteem issues beyond the normal. ok. AND even that does not guarantee a teenager will not need professional help.
So anyway my point is that remember we are making adults, these teenagers that drive us nuts are going to be workers, parents, drivers, carers, club members even may be in a high place of responsibility one day.
I really didn't grow up until I was in my 20s so I know its a long journey and I don't expect my 14 year old to work every afternoon and go to school ,cook, clean and watch her brother every day like a grown up.
I understand she needs to have fun, relax and socialise because this is also the way she forms who she is but we as parents have to be there to hold up the boundaries because they can't. That part of their brain has not formed yet.
You can not let a young teenager online in this world free to rom the world wide web without limits.
You can not have them wonder around the street to do what ever they feel like doing .
There has to be a balance. Let them be who they think they want to be But also be there to rein them in when it looks like they need it  :)

About me

ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ : Why can these two words leave a grown adult looking into space in deep thought like they have been asked to solve the world's biggest problems? 
 

Have you ever had to fill out paperwork or a profile with this question in it? Have you been told that they don't want an answer that involves What you do for a living or how many children you have plus their ages. Now try to answer . Hmmmm 
So ᗯᕼO ᗩᖇE YOᑌ? 
If you ask a child this question most seem to jump right in with their name, age or school year, because that's what we as adults have made them learn BUT if you explain to them you want to know about them & what makes them Them you will get wonderful insight :) 
 You will get that one little boy likes pizza because it has lots of cheese which is his favourite food. And that he loves watching lego movies which he then imagines his toys coming to life and playing with him in his room later. It's simple things to him at the moment at a child's stage of life- and so it should be.
Where did we lose that? 
 We tell our children to be happy with who they are. Take the good parts with the bad parts of themselves & love themselves because we love them. As adults, as Parents we seem to not take our own pep talks. 
I am just recently learning about being ᗰE. 
And it's getting easier to answer this question.

                               äḅöüẗ ṃệ
I love nature & enjoy seeing new places.
I'm a caring person but can be guarded. 
I respect all living creatures & feel heartbreak when any animal even road kill comes along my path, as I know that animal has feelings. I've always wanted to grab a van & travel Australia as I feel I don't want to miss out on what was right at my back door before I'm to old. 
 There so what would you say.................?

I'll take the ordinary things dear Husband.😊

Are you the one at the park alone watching the kids play?
Or are you part of that couple i see, sitting there chatting watching their childern play at the swings?
I'm sitting on my own. Yes i have a husband but this is not 'his thing' , Don't get me wrong he is a great father & loves spending time with them. It's more fishing or 4WDing stuff that he likes to do.
And is good at talking the kids into doing those things instead of what they started to nag for like the riding bikes or going to the park ordinary stuff i call it. 🌳
I am the parent that does the ordinary things like playing on the swings, meeting for playdates, taking the remote control car for a run in the empty parking lot or like now sitting under a tree watching them ride their bikes around & around. 🚴🏻

Yes truth is, most the time I have to be guilted or dragged by the kids to do these Ordinary things but once out here I'm filled with gratitude ~ love~ happiness.❤
Seeing my children happy, growing up, doing ordinary things is wonderful and helps that they are a little worn out too. 
Getting out of the house, sitting here under this tree is so good for the soul.
Would I like my life partner to be here next to me Yes but I am ok being here on my own also. 
I have to be ok. 💞👶🏻
I'll take the ordinary things anyday dear husband. Anyday :)